I read somewhere that Paris Hilton’s ultimate friend test is performed in the intimacy of her boudoir. Paris tries on various outfits– from Hot to Heinous– and asks suspect friend for his/her opinion. If the friend negates the Hot outfits and approves of the Heinous vetements, Friend is immediately deigned False, kicked out of the inner circle and banished from the manor.
I am thankful because Paulina will always be in my circle. She has never let me walk around with a bad hair cut, buy an unattractive or overpriced item of clothing, nor led me astray (or out of the house) in bad fashion. She is a true friend, and the ideal shopping accomplice. With a simple look, we convey whether or not to switch gears to Buy or Reverse.
No longer 9 time-zones behind me, I can reach P in real time when ever I have an SMS SOS: heartbreak, job issue or fashion concern. Most recent was the decision to buy or not buy an overcoat. In 2 seconds, she responded “Can’t u wait til u go home? Cheaper in US.” She talked me down from the ledge of overpriced, impulse buying.
Which is why I was shocked the other day when meandering the rues of Paris, Paulina brought me into her latest vice– Orcanta “an expensive bra store that will change your life.” P and I, even in our LA incarnation, were never concerned with our boobs changing anyone’s life. Professional or amateur, we never swayed to the dark side of enhancement. Nor did we buy bras that cost more than a dinner for two. One nice thing about silicon-infested Los Angeles is that sometimes you don’t have to wear a bra. Small is good, especially during tank top season. However, cleavage is another story completely. You either had it or you didn’t, I thought. And if you bought it, it was a bit like false advertising, as my friend George would say.
I took the bait. P was absolutely right, as usual. Orcanta has many amazing, cleavage producing bras that are not like the traditional, odious stealth/bullet-proof bra which create “shape” and nothing else. We tested out every bra in the following simulations (in our small changing room):
1. Crowded restaurant, waiter pre-occupied. (V neck blouse/sweater)
Raise one arm towards waiter. Arrives shortly there after.
2. Dinner party, clueless cutey to next to you. (Button down blouse).
Slight lean to left or right when attempting to flirt.
Prey immediately directs attention at you.
3. The old faithful “hey, i’ll just reach across whatever to get that….” routine… with cleavage, it works.
P admitted that the best experience was just her, her boobs and her bra just hanging out at home. The bra simply made her (a girl who never had her robust cleavage) happy. Made me happy too. Price-wise, it is expensive– however, you get more bounce for your buck, and bucks it does cost. The question was: “Do I have to buy the full set?”
Technically, with the bra alone, you will already have the full set…. heh heh heh